Other Me: "Yeah, they don't. But cockroaches do."
Me: "F*CK."
Spider Web
(noun)
A thing you walk into that suddenly turns you into a karate master.
Crazy sh*t we say whenever we're on a hunt for that spiderwesawinthecornerofoureyesOHMYGODITSBYMYFOOT!!!!:
Hi Spider.
Nice Spider.
Let me pet you... WITH MA' FOOT!
Good Spider.
DEAD SPIDER.
or
Don't you dare...
DON'T YOU DARE CRAWL HERE YOU PIECE OF SH*T!
F-OHMYGHAD!! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
or
HAH! DIE!! DIE YOU LITTLE SON OF A B*TCH!!!!
If you want to know a person's flaws, just show them a spider. Or if you're a bit evil-er throw one at them.
I don't care how small that spider is I want it dead.
Seeing a spider isn't a problem.
It becomes a problem when it disappears.
"I'm going to kill that spider!
...Unless it moves two centimeters, then I'm gonna' jump, scream, throw my shoes across the room and run for it."
REVEAL YOURSELF, WRETCHED BEAST. FOR I SHALL NOT REST UNTIL I HAVE SLAIN YOU.
That moment when the spider on the wall ain't there anymore...'It's gonna' do a surprise attack.'
"That spider is more scared than you are." Oh really? Did it tell you that? That THING could be plotting to take over the world and YOU DON'T CARE??? I knew it!! You're with THEM. Traitor.